Sober Birthday

Hubs is on his 4th glass of wine (on a Manday) and today is day 15 for me. Quiet birthday with some very sweet cards made by my babies.  Feeling pretty reflective today, about my relationship with wine and just in general.  Thinking of some of my wine drinking stories…..

“Thanks a lot for last night” said the text from Lori. “What do you mean” I texted. I remember the feeling I got when I sent the text.  I truly did not know what she meant.  I held my breath…….”my sister was glad to see you last night (only the second time we’d seen each other) but then she was more than upset that you told her how horrible of a mom we had and that my mom probably never really wanted to have kids in the first place” ” my sister replayed your whole conversation over a family dinner the next day”.  Oh….my……God.  What the hell was she talking about?? Did I say that???? Why??  I certainly didn’t feel that way……….why would I do that??  I made up some excuse about not eating all day and that I was talking about my own mom (also not true).  Our friendship never truly recovered….and this was 6 months ago.  I drove home that night.

I am beginning to realize I may never be able to drink again, and the thought makes me uncomfortable. Didn’t I enjoy drinking wine not so long ago?  I mean, I think I did. The bad stories are flooding my mind (and there are plenty).  Still haven’t told friends or family.  Hangin in there…..

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